考研英语作文批改范例之一.doc
As is shown in the picture, the love is like a light. It can lighten darkness. Undoutedly, among people ’s emontions, the love is the greatest. In fact, because of love, many people have hope. They try best to overcome the obstacle a good future furthermore when the other people in difficulty, they also hope them.
Last year the earthquake happened in Sichuan. The government help them to rebuild their home. This year, meanwhile trouble happened in Taiwan. Many people pay attention to them.
Accordingly we should take some relevant measures. For one thing, we must encourage people to love and help the others. For another thing we must raise people ’s awareness that love is a beneficial to the society. Meanwhile only in this way can we have bright future.
评语：得分9~10分
该文按照写作要求，严格遵守三段式论说方法，第一段是图画描述及对于图画意义的理解，第二段很简短的介绍了两个事例，证明自己第一段的分析，最后一段是建议评论。因此，本文在总体上可以达到及格的要求。但是，需要注意的问题有：
1： 关联词语的使用要准确，比如，当你说两件事情的时候，就不能用another ，需要one …the other。
2： 语言的运用还是比较生涩，基本上不太敢使用复杂句。
3： 避免单词拼写错误。
总之，建议你仔细研读英文范文，将比较适合自己的语言表达内化，以后再写作文时候就会有话可说了。加油！