雅思写作Education类范文分析修改

Education 类范文分析：(《十天突破IELTS写作完整真题库与6-9分范文全解》P28) Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate bec0ome more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the purpose (goal, objective) of education is being changed. There are some people who think that competition in children should be promoted. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate will become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.

To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is made? They can develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the

competition. To prove this, in my country it is popular and common to have a tutor who comes to students’ house to teach extra pieces of study by paying a lot of money. They learn faster than what they learn at school. Furthermore, during the vacation (holiday, leave), students study abroad to learn English for a month. If they have experiences such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus points to go to the well-known high school. Moreover, there are four big school exams to test students’ level of studies. Generally, only the highest 40% can go to the good quality high schools and colleges. Children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to enter good quality schools.

On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the schools and study with their own tutors, there are problems. They become selfish. They become careless and do not cooperate for them. Then, why are there companies for many

people to work in? Each of them are clever, however, there are weaknesses and strengths for each person. To cooperate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others think of and learn, which can also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that children should be taught to cooperate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to help each other. I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on (focus on/ be absorbed in)cooperation, not compete and ranking them.