这就是你不开心的原因

这就是你不开心的原因

I used to tie my happiness to other people and their expectations of me, particularly at school and at home. I‟d think:

过去，尤其是在家里或是学校的时候，我总把自己的快乐和别人以及别人对我的期望联系起来，我觉得：

“When I get an A it‟ll make them happy, then I‟ll be happy.”

“我得了A 会让他们高兴，那我就会开心。”

“If I please all my teachers, then I‟ll be happy.”

“要是我能让我所有的老师满意，那么我也会开心。”

“If I please my parents, then I‟ll be happy.”

“如果能让父母满意，我也会开心。”

Ultimately, I was always thinking, “If I make „them‟ happy, then I‟ll be happy.” 所以，我一直都这样认为，“如果我能让他们都满意，我就会开心。”

A nice sentiment I‟m sure you‟ll agree. The only teeny, tiny, slight problem was that I wasn‟t happy. I‟d tied my happiness to other people and totally forgotten about whether what I was doing was actually making me happy.

某种程度上来说，我觉得你会同意我的说法。有个一很细微的问题都会让我不开心。我把自己的快乐与他人联系起来，却完全忘记了我的所作所为是否会让我自己开心。

The trap of tying your happiness to external factors

把自己的幸福和其他的外部事物联系在一起就是一个错误

If you tie your happiness to other people, you‟ll never be able to control it, because you can‟t control them. If they‟re not happy or behaving how you want them to, what does that mean for you? Similarly, if you tie your happiness to your dreams and goals and achievements, it‟ll always be fleeting. Because there‟s always another dream or goal or achievement.

如果你认为别人快乐你就能获得快乐，那么你不会得到快乐的，因为你没法控制别人。要是你想要做的不是他们要求的那样，让他们不满意，这对你来说意味着什么？同样的，要是你快乐是因为你实现了你的梦想、你的目标，那也是一时的。因为你总还有另外的梦想。 If you tie your happiness to stuff, it won‟t last. Because you‟ll always want more stuff. And you‟ll always say, “When I get that, then I‟ll be happy.” If you tie your happiness to money, it will evade you, because there‟s always more money to earn. You‟ll say, “When I have this much, then I‟ll be happy.”

要是你是因为某件东西而觉得快乐，那也不会长久。因为你总还想得到更多。你总会说，“要是得到了，我就会很开心。”要是你的快乐是和金钱有关，那么它会毁掉你，因为你还想赚得更多，你会说，“要是我有多少多少，我就觉得快乐了。”

This is why people who‟ve achieved a lot sometimes talk about having that empty feeling: they‟ve tied their happiness to something external. Yes, they‟ve achieved a lot and have loads of money and stuff, but they‟re the people who do say, “When I‟ve achieved this, then I‟ll be happy,” “When I‟ve got this much money, I‟ll be happy.” It‟s never ending because, as I‟ve explained, there‟s always something else. More stuff. More money.

这就是为什么人们已经实现了梦想，谈到时还会有空虚的感觉：他们总把自己的快乐和身外之物联系到一起。是的。他们做到了很多他们想要做到的，有很多钱，也得到了他们想要得到的，但是还是会说，“在我做成了... ，我就幸福了”，“有了这些钱之后，我就幸福了。”总也没有个尽头, 因为我之前解释过的，总还有其他想要的，更多的东西，更多的钱财。 The one reason why you aren’t happy is…

不开心的原因是...

So what‟s the one reason why you aren‟t happy? It‟s because you‟re not tying your happiness to yourself. You‟re not tying it to who you are. You‟re 100% in control of these things, and you can therefore be as happy as you want, for as long as you want, wherever you are. Of course, it‟ll get rocked from time to time, but it can always come back to the rock-solid base that is you. And yes, you‟ll grow and evolve, but you‟ll still be you. You own your happiness. We all do. 那么不开心的原因是什么？是因为你没有把幸福同自身联系起来。你没有试着去做真正的自己。你完全掌控好了这些，你想怎么高兴就能怎么高兴，想开心多久就多久，不管是在哪里也都可以很开心。当然也会有例外的情况，但最终因为你自己你也会找回快乐。你会长大，你会有进步，但是你还是你，你有属于你自己的幸福。我们也都会有。

Now I hear you ask, “Matt, oh wise one， how did you tie your happiness to yourself?” I‟ll tell you. I found out what was important to me. What really mattered to me, and why. Because that‟s who I was — and am — and once I admitted who I truly was, I was so proud of me. I was happy.

现在我可以听见你在问，“马特，聪明的哥们，你是怎样把快乐和自己联系起来的？”我会对你说。我会弄清楚哪些东西对我来说是很重要的。哪些东西于是很紧要的，为什么。因为那就能弄清楚我过去是怎样一个人----现在又是怎样一个人--一旦我弄清楚哪个是真实的我之后，我会因我而骄傲。我会很快乐。

Why you should choose to be happy

为什么应该要开心

A nurse who worked in a hospice conducted a study on the regrets of the dying, and came out with a top 5. One of the regrets, which really hit me at the time I read it, was: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” To reiterate: this is one of the top 5 regrets of people who are at the end of their lives. I think that‟s very telling. Perhaps they finally realized that happiness was a choice. Do you let yourself be happy? If you died tomorrow, would you have the same regret? 在一家医院工作的护士做了一项关于带着遗憾死去的调查，一共列出了5个。在我看完之后有一种遗憾一直萦绕在我脑海-----“我希望我曾经让我自己开心过”。重申一次：这只是那些即将离世之人的五大遗憾之一。我认为这就很具说服力。也许到了最后他们才意识到幸福就是一种选择。你给自己快乐了吗？要是明天就死了，你会有一样的遗憾吗？